Resources
Getting Support for your Grief Journey
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.— On Joy and Sorrow, Kahlil Gibran
Loss can come in many forms: the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of status, the loss of an identity, or the loss of a loved one. Grief is both universal and personal — we all grieve, but we are all unique in how we do it. If you are feeling lost or overwhelmed trying to navigate through your grief journey, please know that you are not alone. As a certified grief counselor, I can help you gain insight into what grief is, how it shows up, and more importantly, how to livea full and joyful life, even in the face of loss.
Resources
Books
The Pretty Painful Grief Book, by William Hunter Howell, is a guided journal rull of prompts that help you unpack the chaos of loss
You Are Not Alone, by Cariad Lloyd , who pulls from a collection of years of profound insights from experts and guests featured on her podcast, Griefcast – to remind us that you cannot do grief wrong.
It’s Okay that You’re Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand, by by Megan Devine, which offers a new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy
Podcast
Griefcast, a podcast that “examines the human experience of grief and death – but with comedians, so it’s cheerier than it sounds.”
Articles
How Individual Therapy Can Help Grieving, by Jennae Phillippe, where I talk about how therapy can help people through their grief journey.
How to Talk to Someone Who is Experiencing Grief, by Jennae Phillippe, where I offer practical tips on supporting loved ones going through loss
What is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy seeks to be a respectful, non-blaming approach to counselling and community work, which centres people as the experts in their own lives. It views problems as separate from people and assumes people have many skills, competencies, beliefs, values, commitments and abilities that will assist them to reduce the influence of problems in their lives. — Alice Morgan, What is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy can look different from different therapists, but the main idea of it is to use the power of story telling to help people understand and change their lives. I often refer to the narratives or stories people have about themselves and their lives, and want to help people understand how those narratives were formed, and if they are still serving them. And if not, how can we rewrite them so they align with folks’ visions of their futures?
You don’t have to be a writer to benefit from narrative therapy, though I have found many people in the creative fields are particularly drawn to this therapuetic model. We are all the authors of our own stories — shouldn’t we enjoy them?
Resources
Books
What Is Narrative Therapy, by Alice Morgan, an easy-to-read introduction to the ideas and practices of narrative therapy geared toward therapists but accessible by everyone.
The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, which was the inspiration behind Morning Pages, and helps guide artists embark on a creative journey and find a deeper connection to process and purpose.
The Hero’s Journey, by Joseph Cambell, a collection of conversations between Campbell and some of the people he inspired, reflecting on subjects ranging from the origins and functions of myth, the role of the artist, and the need for ritual to the ordeals of love and romance.
Videos
Narrative Therapy Primer, by Carepatron that gives a brief overview of the model and what to exect from working with a theraparist that utilizes narrative therapy.
Change Your Story, Change Your Life, by writer, seeker, and storyteller Jenna Arak, who finds healing by writing a letter to a father she never met. She retells how, through the use of her pen, she was able to shift her personal narrative about Who She Is – from someone who felt “unlovable” – to believing she is deserving of love and affection.
The Danger of a Single Story, by Novelist Chimamanda Adichie, who tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding.
Guided Journals
The Artists Way Workbook, by Julia Cameron – a companion to The Artists Way
Becoming, by Michelle Obama – a guided journal for discovering your voice
Journal of Radical Permission, by adrienne maree brown and Sonya Renee Taylor – a daily guide for following your soul’s calling
How to Be You, by Jeffrey Marsh – Stop trying to be someone else and start living your life
The ADHD Brain
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
― Albert Einstein
Living with ADHD is like being left-handed in a right-handed world — things just aren’t built for you. Instead, people with ADD/ ADHD spend their lives masking their neurodiversity, and more often than not, feeling like failures because of the double effort of trying to function the same as everyone else without the appropriate tools to do so. As someone who also has ADHD, I know firsthand what it’s like and have developed many coping strategies for my ADHD. The first? Learning that just because I need to do things differently doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me. Let me help you figure out how to work with yourself, and not against yourself.
Resources
Books
Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder by Gabor Maté, one of the earliest books to have a compassionate approach to ADHD
How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It) by Jessica McCabe, creator of the ADHD videos below
Videos
Why is it so hard to do something that should be easy, by Jessica McCabe
Web Resources
ADDitude Magazine, a place for articles, self assessment tools, and other resources for ADHD folks
Sex and Relationships
Love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are.
― Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
If love were easy, there wouldn’t be 20 million songs, books, and movies about it. Working with many couples over the course of my career, I’ve come to realize that couples need three things to be successful: communication, curiosity, and generosity. But different attachment styles can greatly impact how couples relate to each other and get them into toxic cycles that leave them feeling hurt and disconnected. Drawing from Esther Perel, Julie Menano, and the founders of The Gottman Institute, I have helped couples work through their vulnerability cycles and connect in meaningful ways.
Resources
Couples Therapists
Ester Perel
Podcast – Where Should We Begin
Book – Mating in Captivity
Video – “The Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship”
Julia Menanno
Book – Secure Love
Podcast – Secure Love
Video – Interviewed by Forrest Hanson on “Secure Attachment Relationships: How to get what you never had”
Gottman Institute
Terry Real
Article about Terry Real – How I Learned the Problem in my Marriage Was Me
Video – Jacee Dunn Interview with Terry Real On How to Fix Your Relationships
Books about Sex
Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, an essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.
Come Together by Emily Nagoski, The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
Books for Polyamory
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist who extends attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy
Living with Depression and Anxiety
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
― William Shakespear, Hamlet
Everyone can feel down or anxious now and then, but for some people, depression and anxiety are constant companions in their lives. Depression and anxiety are the most common reasons people seek out help. Even when people are considered “high functioning”, they still struggle to feel like their lives have meaning when dealing with negative feelings all the time. Borrowing from Internal Family Systems and Narrative Therapy, I help clients understand the roots of their feelings, develop strategies for manageing them, and help them move from surviving to thriving.
Resources
I Had a Black Dog, His Name was Depression – a video by the World Health Organization that helps define what depression is
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick, which looks at the ongoing effects of longterm loneliness
What Fresh Hell is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You, by Heather Corinna which takes a scientific (and inclusive look) at what anyone experiencing perminopause is going through
Insight Timer – a free meditation app with videos for folks struggling to sleep, relax, or be mindful
VIA Character Strenghts Quiz – a free (after registering) self-reported quiz that will help folks recognize their strengths
How to Do Laundry When You’re Depressed, TED Talk by KC Davis, a licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and founder of Struggle Care, talking about the struggle to do things while depressed. She also has a book: How To Keep House While Drowning